49 Equanimity

Teachings:

Alan begins talking about bliss, pretty for overcoming exaltation and anxiety.

This morning is time to turn to the fifth of the five obscurations and the fifth of the five dhyana factors so it is its natural antidote or antibody, but before going there I’d like to offer just a footnote to the last one, the one we discussed yesterday morning, namely the role of bliss or this Pīti (in Pali (Sanskrit: Prīti)) for overcoming excitation and anxiety.

Bliss maybe is not the best translation in all contexts, especially when one says bliss, it is a pretty high level, ok how long do I need to wait for that? This term doesn’t necessarily have that degree of power to it. I think probably the more appropriate term here would simply be enjoyment. So you may or may not have experienced bliss in your mindfulness of breathing or other shamatha practices, but you may have had a session that you enjoyed. Or at least a moment or two. (Laughter). That was a good second there. Oh, how sweet the memory.

So enjoyment, this is kind of once again obviously true if one considers excitation as the mind is flying off in all different directions, being impelled by desires for this, that and the other thing, and then anxiety, then it is quite clear that if you are really enjoying what you are doing then the tendency to wonder off in pursuit of happiness with craving and desire or falling into anxiety would naturally be overcome. And there are all kinds of mundane examples of this: I fly a lot and see people on long airplane flights engrossed in their novels for example, one of those paperback thrillers, whatever, and when they’re really into the novel, you can imagine that their mind isn’t wondering and they are not thinking about their income taxes or others things as anxiety and so forth, they are totally into it and they’re enjoying the novel. So excitation and anxiety do not arise as long as they are still focused there [in the novel] and it is because they are enjoying it. Whereas if you are studying something that you have to study that you do not find interesting, then the mind wonders all over the place.

(3:12) So in a similar fashion now for shamatha, rather than setting in expectation like, ok, “how long I have to wait until bliss comes in?”, or “I had bliss a week ago last Tuesday where, where have you gone, when you will come and visit again?” Rather think more modestly, for example, remember the song that says: “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”, remember that one? It is kind of like that: if you cannot get the bliss you do not have, enjoy the meditation you do have. But you may say: “yeah, but what’s to enjoy, I am in stage one, and I got rumination, and I am restless, and my knee hurts, my mind is not very clear; which part of this is the enjoyable part?” That is not a rhetorical question.

I’m here to tell you which is the enjoyable part, ahhhhhhhhh… (sigh of relief). That is the enjoyable part, breathing out. And it is taking satisfaction in little things. [Let’s see] a little quip from modern science, psychology of happiness, another parallel. I am wondering a little bit, but I like to wander, you know:

(4:05) Studies have being done about happy people whether or not they’re practicing dharma, I do not think that term comes up a lot in modern psychological studies of happiness, maybe it does I do not know, but they found that when they’ve done polls or interviews with people who were just generally very cheerful, happy, they found something common among them and that is that generally happy people find a whole bunch of little things to be happy about, they are not waiting for the lottery, they are not waiting for the big one, they are just finding many little things throughout the course of the day to take delight in. And then it’s just like oil and paper, which just starts to seep into the rest of the day.

So finding and taking satisfaction in little things, well how about even if you think you are the worst meditator here, like most of you do, and me too, I am part of the club, I am seating there for hours and then I think: “man, this sharp medium dull, and utterly retarded”, that’s me down there, but at least you know, I am still at it, still doing it, haven’t lost heart. But finding little things to take satisfaction in, and that is when you breathe out, you can take some satisfaction in just releasing the rumination of the moment and taking satisfaction, not a whole lot, but enough that, Oh, that is relaxing, and then relaxing all the way through the end, which you’ve heard me saying so many times, and then that patient resting there, if there is something of an interval, interim exhalation, and then finding, “Oh, how nice! The next breath is flowing in on its own accord, I did not need to reach out and launch for it, I did not need to yank it in, I didn’t need to exert myself, just flowed in, how nice!” One can enjoy breathing out and then receiving the gift of the in breath, you can enjoy that, enjoy just releasing rumination and say: well who knows how the twenty four minutes session will go, but that breath, that was a really darn good breath.

Let’s do that right now, let’s take just one breath, but let it be a good one. Yeah, that was not so hard, was it? Just to enjoy a breath. And so among the three qualities, to derive some enjoyment, leave alone bliss, it is too big a term, but some enjoyment of, among the three qualities, really learning how to release, to relax, to find ease and comfort in your body and mind, and to be satisfied. There is more to come, that is not the whole movie, it is not the whole show but that is a nice start. That’s got to be in the right direction, if enlightenment is in that way this has got to be in the right direction, the opposite has got to be in the opposite direction. And then with that deepening sense of relaxation, then slowly as you really do unwind and release, then you might find that there is a bit more composure, a little bit more continuity, a little bit more peace and quiet in the mind because rumination is spinning out and there are some nice intervals between the rumination, the spouts, the bursts of rumination, and finding, Oh, it is nice not only to be relaxed but to have a bit of inner peace, a bit of quiet that is not dull. That is nice, you can enjoy that too. And then among the three, the easiest one to enjoy is when you see, Oh, the mind is quite clear, quite bright, that is nice, so enjoy, that is a natural antidote to excitation, which is always looking for something you do not have, getting off on forays, expeditions in pursuit of some kind of hedonic pleasure or just in sheer habit.

So I would suggest that we do not have to wait for the seventh stage and I stand by everything I said yesterday in terms of the value of reflecting upon the disadvantages of just being snared in the five obscurations and the magnificent opportunities, the advantages, the benefits, of actually achieving shamatha that is certainly worth going to in terms of the discursive meditation. But let’s now overlook the possibility which is really like today, even in the next session, of taking some satisfaction in the practice itself and finding: Oh, I do not need to wait, this is already good. So that is for the fourth one, then we move on to the fifth one.

Instructions for one that is reading the transcript: the next paragraph and others writing in black is part of the summary that we are using as the title of the next theme.

Alan talks about the fifth of the five obscurations which is afflictive uncertainty.

(10:10) And the fifth one is afflictive uncertainty, debilitating uncertainty, being uncertain about something that is just naturally insane, what do you think, you think that it will clear this afternoon, there’s going to be sunny skies or you think there will be more rain ? Gosh, I do not know but that is not pinning me at all, that is not an afflictive uncertainty, I am uncertain because I do not know and I have no way of knowing. And so there it is. Will I live a long life or short life? Can’t be that short, I’ve already made it to 62. I do not know, so there we are, I am uncertain, I do not know, that is not afflictive.

(9:34) But now let’s take for example and that is only one of many examples since there’s a big emphasis here on shamatha, big question:

If I practice shamatha, if I continue practicing shamatha, when I’m not compelled to come to these meditations in the morning and afternoon and have some real freedom, can I get anywhere among those nine stages, can I actually move along or am I just stuck, spinning my wheels like a Jeep spinning its wheels in mud and just “rururururu”, Ah! Twenty four minutes gone by, mud all over the place. Did you go anywhere? No, I just dug myself deeper into a trench of dullness and excitation so … Am I completely hopeless? That would be a really good question. Am I completely hopeless, so retarded for shamatha that does not matter how hard I try or how hard I try to relax (I like that phrase, the Germans specially, I’m sorry but you Germans you’re hopeless (laughter). But you know I don’t mean it, that you’re hopeless). So there it is just on this basic thing, can I get anywhere at all in this practice or am I always going to be coming back to stage one or if there is such thing, stage zero, stages minus as well? I do not know how far back would be go.

And then we can ask the grander question. Is it possible for a person like me, myself included, to actually achieve shamatha? And like me, well how about, ok, if one is a Westerner, how about Westerners if one is simply living in the twenty first century or how about anybody, Tibetans, Bhutanese, Mongolians, Indians and so forth? Can anybody achieve shamatha nowadays or is this just a thing of the past? Are the times so degenerate and you will find people who believe this, that times now are so degenerate that the time of realization is finished? Anybody heard this before? The time of realization is finished so all you can really hope for is to study well, be an ethical person and then dedicate your merit to a really good future life? So that could be if one had a gravestone for Buddhadharma where it would be written: “Rest in peace, Buddhadharma.” You should have been here during the good old days but you missed it by that much, how many years, or decades, or centuries.

(12:26) So it is suitable to be uncertain about that which is uncertain, and then there is the natural remedy, the antibody, and that is, it is called “vijrara” in Sanskrit, or “thopht” in Tibetan and means careful investigation, close investigation. So not just simply checking it out, but checking it out in depth, with continuity, with carrying through, and say like Sherlock Holmes I solved the case, he doesn’t just look at the evidence and say “maybe this”; you track it down until you get something decisive, right? That’s this. Or in the Theravada analogy I mentioned earlier, called the “sustained thought”, sustained attention, and that is like the reverberation of the bell after you’ve struck it with applied thought, applied attention, then the lingering, the reverberation, “uuuuuuuu” like that, that is the vijrara, ok? And that is a natural antidote and this absolutely makes totally good sense to me and that is, it is through sustained investigation, we might use a modern term called research, rigorous, sustained, definitive research into issues about which we are uncertain.

This is how science progresses, evolves, develops, because when an issue comes up, the scientists are uncertain, there’s this hypothesis, and then if there is a scientific hypothesis then they find some mean to put it to the test and then they move beyond their uncertainty and they come to some consensual knowledge. I mean it is just a fantastic strategy that’s worked incredibly well for certain domain of reality, the objective, physical, and quantifiable, for four hundred years, it’s been spectacular.

But now applying this to the subjective, the qualitative, the non-physical, all the way to uncertainty about anything perhaps, but about for example the shamatha. Well let’s take the easier one first: can I get anywhere here at all? Well, check it out. Is there some reason? Do I have brain damage? Am I genetically a mutant? Am I one of those anti- shamatha, sub-species? Is there any reason to believe that I am unlike so many others who really benefit from the practice?

(14:44) And then positively speaking, I mean you really solve this by sustained practice, doing it intelligently, learning the methods, seeing that you are practicing it correctly, you are looking for the outer and inner conditions and then seeing for yourself with continuity and just see, can I get any benefit from this at all? And frankly eight weeks really is a fair period, if after eight weeks here of doing your best, attending our morning and afternoon sessions, applying yourself as well as you can, you know how ever many hours or sessions per day, if after eight weeks you look back and say: boy, I just got no benefit out of those practices at all, then I would say find another teacher, find another set of practices, because eight weeks is really a fair trial, it is fair enough, right? And then you should know so that uncertainty should be dispelled, either, yeah for sure from those practices I do not get any benefit from, I gave it eight weeks that is really fair trial, and I just got no good benefit, I was just spinning my wheels the whole time. That is a possibility in which case this is not the right teacher or those are not the right practices and there are plenty of others teachers and plenty of others practices so I would suggest, you know, head out to greener pastures.

(15:45) But if over eight weeks, and I have found eight weeks turns out to be a really timely period, it does tend almost universally to be a sufficient time that people can really see for themselves whether or not achieving shamatha, that can remain uncertain, but are these practices beneficial, having put them into practice for eight weeks, have I derived any benefit at all, so see for yourself. But I have been doing this for some years now and I find people almost universally, find that the answer is yes. So that uncertainty is quelled.

(16:21) But then we go to the deeper issue which has some implications for people in this twenty first century, reaching the path, the path of accumulation for example, and proceeding on, developing authentic insight by way of vipashyana, developing genuine bodhichitta and so on. Is it possible for people the likes of us to achieve shamatha? And the likes of us we can say as Westerners (transcriber’ sum up: Alan raises the question about which places/countries could be considered Western). But anyway is it possible for Tibetans, Mongolians, Singaporians, Australians, Americans and so forth, is it possible to achieve shamatha or not in these places? There is an uncertainty about it. And the stakes are high, because if it is simply impossible, then we need to recognize that and not get our hopes up or our hopes are going to be in vain, and say ok, it is not possible to achieve the path, it is not really possible to gain profound and irreversible realization in Dzogchen, state of generation or completion, not possible to achieve bodhichitta or direct realization of emptiness, all of those are impossible now because shamatha is necessary for everything I just said according to the greatest teachers of all the traditions. So since shamatha is impossible then all of those are impossible too; so what is left over? Well, there is something left over, that is to be an ethical person, you can make prayers to be born in a pure land, in other words you have a religion. Be ethical, do your devotions, do your rituals and pray for a good rebirth and I think if we consensually came to that conclusion, I think the Buddhas would weep. So anyone who draws that conclusion without compelling evidence is simply making a self-fulfilling prophecy, believe it and lo and behold it’s true, it is true because you believe it. Or as H. H. the Dalai Lama commented in a different context, he said:

The situation is hopeless whatever the situation is, self-termination, human rights for the Tibetan people in Tibet etc.; the situation is hopeless exactly in that moment when you give up hope. Until that moment it is not hopeless but as soon as you get to the point, Oh, it is hopeless, then it is, congratulations, you’ve just put yourself into a prison and thrown the key away because you decided it is hopeless. So as for the freedom of the Tibetan people, the freedom to practice their dharma without fear of punishment, without fear of political indoctrination, without fear of torture, without fear of having their monasteries bulldozed when they get too large…. It becomes hopeless only when you give up hope. And that the Dalai Lama has never done and I shall certainly never do it myself.

(21:01) So what have we been doing for shamatha? Research. And this is the beauty of shamatha, it is so transparent, there is nothing mysterious about it, laid down by such great masters as Tsongkhapa and many, many others. Nine stages. Ok, which stage you think that is the impossible one? Where does the doubt really come in? Break it down like an engineering problem into smaller pieces and see where the uncertainty really kicks in, then research, investigate. What methods do people find most beneficial? This is the fundamental motivation behind a group of my colleagues and myself wishing to establish, doing everything we can, to create a constellation, a garland, of contemplative observatories around the world so that people who are really devoting themselves to opening the door to the path by achieving shamatha and then proceeding along the path, they can find what works, with sustained investigation, sustained research, what works. And moreover, the more the merrier. Because with Shamatha like with music, art, science and so forth, some people are just going to be more gifted than others, it is just the way things are. But even the not so gifted people can still develop it (shamatha). So it is not like can you or can you not, but how well can you. But the more people we have involved who really are passionately committed to this, there are bound to be some who are very gifted, and there are, I’ve met them. And so let’s keep an eye on them and then they can come back and tell us what is working. So research, investigation. What kind of environment is really optimal? Which practices are really optimal? Is it better to be practicing entirely in solitude so you are not having any distraction from outside or is it better to have a small cluster, maybe three or four companions, or is there some real group energy by having twenty or forty people together, perhaps in smaller clusters amongst them but a larger kind of group effort? Is that more optimal? Is it necessary to have an experienced teacher right there right with you or is it enough to communicate by Skype and so forth or even e-mail.? So I think it is really one of the grand questions about which is worthy to be uncertain but uncertainty in a most vigorous, determined way to dispel uncertainty through research, through investigation. If this were hopeless then there is no doubt in my mind that H. H. Dalai Lama would not be encouraging and really supporting the establishment of a retreat center, a contemplative research facility near Bangalore which is solely, according to him, his wish, solely going to be focusing on shamatha and vipashyana. He would not do that, why, set up everybody for disappointment, I’m setting up all those research labs so you can all fail, we’ll give it our best shot, find money, find land, get the support of the Indian government and so forth because we’re really eager to get you all there and then fall flat on your faces, everybody will watch you all catastrophically fail. That’s not in his mind, impossible. So if he thought that this is impossible there is no way he would do this.

So let’s dispel uncertainty the good old fashioned way, investigating, just like the scientists have, the great contemplatives of the past have, and the great contemplatives of the present do. Let’s face the uncertainty squarely, and then get an answer. That’s how research or sustained research or vijrara, subtle investigation dispels uncertainty. You move from skepticism, you move from uncertainty, to certain knowledge. Case closed. That is the way forward. Oh, yeah, I will never accept a case closed on the negative side, not me, no way.

There is a story about Edison, the great American inventor, and the story goes that as he was trying to create the first electrical light bulb he went through two to three thousand trials, trying, trying, trying and some journalist came to him and said: Mr. Edison I’ve heard you’ve run three thousand trials trying to create an electrical light bulb and you failed in every single one. Isn’t there a point when you just want to give up, maybe this just cannot be done? When is enough enough? And Thomas Edison allegedly said: I have not failed three thousand times; I’ve succeeded three thousand times in finding how not to develop a light bulb. So some of you are now becoming very familiar with how not to achieve shamatha, congratulations. You might want to keep a log: this doesn’t work, this doesn’t work…Then we can compile: Thanyapura Mind Center’s 500 page book on how not to achieve shamatha, written by experts! And then of course shortly after that he succeeded and it was one more fabulous invention he made. So it is uncertain but I refuse the certainty that it’s not possible, because that just means we haven’t been trying hard enough

Alan introduces the fourth of the 4 immeasurables, equanimity.

(27:30) It is Saturday morning and it is time to move on to the fourth of the four immeasurables, even-heartedness, equanimity, the grand culmination, the celebration of the four immeasurables. And as we attend to others, as they appear to us, other people for example, it will always be true I imagine that some will appear to us as more virtuous and some less virtuous, some friendlier, some unfriendlier, some with heavier mental afflictions and some with lighter mental afflictions, some will be physically attractive and some will not be physically attractive. That’s going to be around probably as long as the human race is around, that people will just appear different, they’ll manifest differently and that means some of the appearances whether in terms of attractiveness, or whether it’s virtuousness vs vice, that some are naturally going to be more appealing than others as they arise to us subjectively. So in that regard it is uneven, because we have mass killers on the one hand and we have great saints on the other hand, and they’re just not the same; and people who are genocidal, their behavior is not agreeable and those who are incredibly benevolent, that is (agreeable) and so in the midst of this tremendous diversity, not only in appearances but how people actually are, it’s been true for all of human history and will be for the foreseeable future, people are cropping up in all different varieties. So how in the midst of all that do we possibly have an even-heartedness, that one taste, pretending that each one is equal when we are so obviously not equal? Greater virtue, lesser virtue, more intelligence, less intelligence, more kind, less kind, more attractive, less attractive, how is that possible? People as objects are, have been, and will be, widely diverging in how appealing, attractive, pleasant or unpleasant they are. That’s going to be on for the long term. But as we see with each of the four immeasurables the point is not to look at other people as objects but rather as subjects. But then you may say, yeah, subject, but this person is very mean, and this person is hostile, this person is arrogant, this person is benevolent, this person is generous, subjectively too there is a tremendous variety so how can I look them evenly if they are not even, they are not equal, some people from the inside subjectively are really benevolent others are really malevolent so where is the evenness here, how can I respond evenly to a reality that is uneven? It is not a bad question, is it?

(30:00) And the answer is: look deeper, because all these appearances come and go, and mental afflictions come and go, and until one achieves the path virtues come and go, achieve the path and you actually have something irreversible. Until then it comes and goes from lifetime to lifetime, who can say. There was one Lama highly regarded by his students, they thought he was great, great Lama. He died. So one of his students was very keen to find the Tulku of his Lama so he sought out another great Lama, a clairvoyant Lama and asked if the Lama could help look for the Tulku of his Lama. And the Lama said, never mind, never mind, give it up, give it a rest, never mind. But the student persists, we need to find the tulku of our Lama, he was a great Lama, we need to find him. He persisted and finally the Lama said if you insist, ok, come with me. They went out to a pasture where there were some yaks grazing and the Lama said, call out the name of your Lama and the student did and one of the yaks went: Muuuuuu!!! The Lama said: you have just found you Lama!!! Ethics was not quite what it could have been. Lama last time, yak this time. Lama said, I told you, not, no path, next life time who knows.

So with all the variations, how can we respond evenly to an uneven reality of the objective and the subjective reality of other people? The answer is look deeper, look deeper until you find someone who is fundamentally like yourself. Look deeper until you find a common ground, whether you are looking at a mass murderer or you are looking at a tremendous bodhisattva. Look deep enough that you can see with a great bodhisattva and say yes I found a common ground, I am not a great bodhisattva as he is but I found a common ground, I found yes like me so for you; and with a mass murderer, no, I am not a mass murderer either, I am not a great bodhisattva, I am not a master murdered either, but just as I attend to one I found a common ground. You have to look that deep and only if you find that deep can you really develop equanimity.

And what is that deep? All sentient beings wish to be free of suffering. Everyone wants to find happiness and in a way we are doing our best, the mass murderer is doing his best because he’s got some idea, this is really going to be for the good, it looks bad I know but when all is said and done you’ll see that this was really necessary and it’s going to turn out well, and that goes for everything else. People have an inconceivability to justify whatever they are doing and think this is going to be for the good, at least my good, this is going to bring me happiness at least, or my Nation, or my political party, or my religion or what have you, the ingenuity of delusion staggers the imagination. But look for the common ground and then go into samadhi on that common ground. For myself, so for you, we are brothers, we are sisters, we’re the same. Each of us here wishing to be free of suffering and doing our best using our intelligence, imagination and so forth and freeing ourselves of delusion, we are doing our best to overcome suffering, and thinking we’ve identified the causes and try to overcome them, seeking happiness, thinking we’ve identified the causes and pursuing happiness, like myself, so for you. And now may you, like myself, whoever you are, it is the whole spectrum, may you like myself be free of suffering and its causes, may you like myself find happiness and its causes. So let’s practice.

Meditation:

(34:48) Settle your body, speech, and mind in its natural state, relaxed, still, and clear.

For a little while release the turbulence, the energy behind the rumination of the mind, releasing with every out breath, relaxing and calming the discursive mind.

And now with your eyes open or closed, as you wish, direct your attention to the space of the mind, and whatever images, thoughts and so on arise in that domain, as you allow your mind to settle in its natural state.

Many years ago when I asked one of my Lamas when we seek to cultivate loving kindness and compassion for all sentient beings, how should I understand all sentient beings, it seems inconceivable; and his response was: every sentient being you encounter, whether physically or those who simply come to mind, that will do, this is representative of all sentient beings. So now as you attend to the space of the mind, relax, release control over the contents of the mind and simply watch who comes, who comes to mind. And instead of continuing in the practice, the shamatha practice of simply observing mental events as mental events, when a person comes to mind which is to say a mental image, a thought, or a memory, use that mental image as a means to direct your attention to the person, him or herself, whoever may be, and attend closely with sustained thought, with carefully investigation. Attending closely until you find a common ground, you find someone just like yourself.

And now with the spirit of loving kindness and compassion, as you attend single pointedly to this individual with each in breath, arouse the yearning, the aspiration, may you like myself be free of suffering and the causes of suffering, or just as I wish to be free, so do you.

And with each in breath imagine the darkness of this person suffering and its underlying causes, its true causes not merely the cooperative conditions, imagine the suffering and its causes in the form of a darkness converging in upon your heart, this radiant orb of light at your heart, draw it in there and let it be extinguished without trace, do not take on the burden but rather dissolve it into this immeasurable source of light at your own heart, with each in breath arouse the spirit of compassion.

With each in breath imagine this person becoming free, the darkness vanishing.

And with each out breath arouse this yearning of loving kindness, the aspiration, may you like myself find happiness, hedonic and genuine happiness and its underlying causes, and with each out breath imagine a flow of light, radiant, pure, luminous, embracing and suffusing this person and fulfilling his or her innermost desires. And imagine this person being well and happy.

And allow the appearance of this person to dissolve back into the space of your mind but your awareness being loose and free, and see who else spontaneously comes to mind. Do so for the remaining of the session, following the previous practice.

And now let’s all do the practice with each in breath, if you will, imagine the light of blessing, of loving kindness, compassion, wisdom, of all the awaken ones in all the directions in the form of a radiant white pure light converging in upon your own being, utterly filling, saturating you with this light of blessing, with every in breath draw in this light till you’re filled to the brim, and with every out breath, breathe out the same light of loving kindness and compassion imbued with wisdom in all directions evenly, excluding no one.

As the light flows in upon your own body imagine it purifying all illness, all obscurations, all hindrances that obstruct you on your path, imagine total purification of your body and mind with each in breath, and breathe out this aspiration with every exhalation.

And now release all appearances, all aspirations and all objects of the mind and let your awareness utterly come to rest in its own place, holding its own ground, illuminating and knowing its own nature.

Transcribed by Rafael Carlos Giusti

Revised by Victoria Johner y Cruz

Final edition by Rafael Carlos Giusti

Posted by Alma Ayon

Discussion

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