Session 38: Tending to Special Relationships in the Cultivation of Equanimity

B. Alan Wallace, 18 Nov 2010

This afternoon Alan delighted us with his lecture. He gave us advice in how to continue practicing after one has finished a retreat and has to go back to the usual activities of daily life. He questioned, how does special bonds of special relationships fit with the ideal of equanimity? And the answer to that is to take out the threads of attachment attending to the needs of the other person, deepening the sense of loving-kindness. Furthermore turning the hedonic concerns into eudemonic (genuine happiness) ones, at that moment the other becomes our spiritual friend. He also taught us how to deal with wisdom, loving-kindness and compassion in situations when a loved one is behaving badly, out of mental afflictions. After that he continued with a beautiful meditation that we definitely encourage you to practice. Finally he ended with four Q&A. The first one about the recommendation of practicing Ngondro (preliminary practices) before or after Shamatha. The second one, very interesting on advantages and disadvantages of doing retreat with a couple. The 3rd and 4th related to the practices of awareness of awareness and mindfulness of breathing.

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